OK... this is really my last post...

I know I said my goodbye already but there were two things I have tried to make clear before and always failed, and I feel that the Secret SOV2 site would not be complete without putting things right.

First:
There were three targets of my hostility: shallow spiritualists, mindless progressives, and myself. I do not deny that it may be necessary to aggressively challenge the people who are tearing down the church. But, I don't think anyone really deserves to be hated the way that I hated. Not all of my hatred came through in my posts (though at times much of it did) but I certainly did feel it.

I am very sorry to the people that I offended. I hope that this did not push them further from the Truth.

Second:
I am very sorry for the egotistical approach I took at times. There was too much pride in a lot of what I wrote, especially here on Secret SOV2. My recent attack on Ron Paul supporters (which I deleted) was an example of that.

Finally:
If you would like to follow my more positive efforts, they can be found on the Sterquilinium blog (I am M___ C____). These posts aren't exactly funny... well a few of them are... but I (and the other authors there) could always use some constructive criticism.

Thanks and Happier Blogging!

What do you think?

I was thinking of posting this on the main site as a follow up and a closing--tell me what you think:

Some of you may be wondering what happened last night with the explosion and all. Once the bonfire was lit, massive fighting erupted from the Palestinians in the parking lot. They managed to cause the fire to spread--igniting the aspen trees that were meant to become priests, which in turn ignited the SOV2 building. Che had already started the countdown on the rocket, but the fire caused it to malfunction and detonate early, and the explosion from that caused the liquid hydrogen to erupt. Dr. Fakkir's ammo supplies and Keith's drugs were just fuel for the fire. So SOV2 is no more.

Miraculously, some of the parishoners were unharmed by the explosion--here is what happened to them:

Che Lovell--with the help of PeeVee, I was able to remove the beret (now I know why our tech calls are sent to Pakistan). I convinced the judge that without the beret Che was harmless. He was sentenced to 6 months in jail and 5 years of community service.
With the help of PeeVee/H Robert, I was able to upload a virus into the Vista OS which caused it to crash and wipe out the Vista version of H Robert and the files on HRI
Fr. Tim--was going to be arrested for various crimes, but he had some useful information, which he used to stay out of jail and be placed in protective custody... I cannot divulge his location now.
Dr. al-Fakkir--most of the Palestinians were killed in the explosion, Dr. Fakkir and the remaining troops were taken by Homeland Security and sent to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Keith--was arrested for illegal drugs. He will be serving time as Che's cellmate.
H Robert/PeeVee--took a post at one of the leading Universities in India. The two personalities are still clashing--should make for some interesting lectures.
Curt Kane--and the Brothers of Love were all arrested. He will be serving time on federal charges.
INS rounded up the migrants in the parking lot, and they are being sent back to their countries of origin.
The Sybs--were found to be no threat, although Syb Bob will serve some time on drug charges
The Native Americans in the parking lot decided that they had had enough and were moving back to their reservation
The Borgias from SSLI--were arrested for tax evasion. We were sure that there were other crimes committed, but nothing else would stick.
The Truly True Knights were arrested and disbanded--several gruesome murders were discovered.
The SSLI church was destroyed from an aftershock of the explosion at SOV2

Catholic Blog Awards & Goodbye

Not too shabby. Poor little SOV2 pulled down a whopping 20 votes for Funniest Catholic Blog. That was almost 1/2 of what Shrine of the Holy Whapping got.

Well - it's been fun while it lasted. All of my other creative endeavors have suffered terribly in the last year, so I guess I better get back to more serious things. Thanks Ché (especially for not divulging our identities), thanks Adoro & Sr. Fairah, thanks Syb Bob & Syb Madison, Agent Smith, Deacon Rose Carnahan, Ignorant Redneck, & Fr. Chad - whoever you are. Thanks Jeff Miller for giving the blog its first publicity.

All you SOViers out there, have a blessed Triduum. Dominus vobiscum!

S'Long!

This is my last post on the Secret SOV2 blog, and I am not sure how many posts I will make to the real SOV2 blog.

So thanks everybody for your encouragement. I'll be around... just going by my old blogging name. So everytime you see a blogger start ranting about the "noosphere" you will have to wonder if it was not, in fact, me! (Che's secret alter ego.)

May God bless you and your families.

Fr Chad: WHERE R U?

Hey! If you're out there - Father Chad LeJanvier of SSLI - please respond to my email with the debate questions. The time grows short!

New (and last?) poll

The final push towards armageddon is under way... at least for my part. With the HRI rocket poised above SOV2, the final moment could be the mere click of a button away.

However, it is not up to me to end SOV2, so I will not press that button.

But, I am curious what you, the participants and audience think.

M.C.

Loose Ends

My new post at the main site should tie up the loose end of Curt Kane. He can be with al-Fakkir when the fireworks start.

RT

Syb Bob is alive

Sorry I've not been very involved lately. Work has become somewhat of a nightmare. The section I work in used to have two of us, but the other guy left and so it's just myself. Makes for busy days. But I hope to be around a bit more in the coming days. And Syb Bob's project should be revealed tonight or tomorrow.... it all depends on Super Tuesday.

Future without SOV2

Sniff... sniff...

Well faithful readers, with the destruction of SOV2 becoming increasingly imminent it looks like I will need to shift venues for my creative energies. The difficulty is I have spread myself out over several noms des plumes (plurals in other languages are so difficult). Therefore, I am trying to decide whether to simply concentrate my efforts in one particular area, give up blogging or create a new identity.

I am not sure there is a market for my wacky ideas. So, in any case I will probably fade back into complete obscurity.

M.

Debate Questions

Here is my proposed list of debate questions from Stacy McCloud to Dym Tim & Fr. Chad:

1. Why do you want to be Bishop of Knoxville?

2. If you were Bishop of Knoxville, what would you do to help the waterfront development project?

3. If you were Bishop of Knoxville, would you wear the funny hat, or dress normally?

4. The Bishop of Knoxville gets to live in a mansion, while many people in Knoxville have to live in cardboard boxes or trailers.  If you were Bishop of Knoxville, would you keep living in the mansion, or would you move into a cardboard box?

5. What year was the Council of Trent concluded?

6. I'm not Catholic, but if I wanted to be a priest, why couldn't I be one?

7. Aren't all Catholics idol worshippers?  What's with the statues?

8. Don't Catholics pray to Mary?

9. Boxers, or briefs?

10. Who was UT's quarterback when the Vols defeated Miami in the Sugar Bowl?

11. Do you feel like in today's troubled world it is desirable to recapture a pre-Chalcedonian soteriology centered around the Monophysite Christological theorum, or would doing so risk a return to Nestorianism?

12.  You do know that the Bishop of Knoxville doesn't get elected, don't you?  My research indicates that Bishops get appointed by the Pope.  What is your view on this issue?

13. Fr. Plarvik - public records show that your parish has experienced two riots, a meth-lab explosion, several people disappearing, seventy-two civil lawsuits, and is currently providing sanctuary to 1,560 illegal immigrants.  Not to mention that it is reported to be under investigation by the TBI, FBI, and Homeland Security.  If you were Bishop, is this the kind of activity we would expect to get to cover as journalists?

14. Fr. Chad - your parish has proved to be a downtown eyesore and nuisance.  You've been cited on numerous occasions for your constant processions blocking traffic, and the manure left behind by the horse-drawn carts left in front of your parish has cost the city considerable expense.  Your parishioners are well known for accosting people who frequent alternative lifestyle clubs.  Do you think you could really represent Knoxville as Bishop?

15.  If you got to be Bishop of Knoxville, and a little while later they wanted you to be a cardinal, would you accept?

Surrealism

I thought about posting the following as H. Robert Williams:

... I'm not sure exactly where I am.

I just vaguely remember the smell of curry. In fact, I think I taste a little turmeric right now. Ah, the pungent smell, I recall how at Villanoce college my good friend Krishna Visuvudean would have us over to discuss comparative religions and we would sit and laugh and talk about Budha and Confucius and Zoroaster.

We talked all night. I think that was the year we held a rally for Mumia Abu-Jamal. All the students wrote papers on exploitation in the criminal justice system. I drank too much ouzu and under the purple fog of an opiate I dreamed of a world without bigotry where we all embraced the eternal feminine. That eight armed goddess with the luscious lips and tear drop eyes.

We laughed and joked, Jezebel and I, of a dreamy new land. I lay my head on her lap and she plucked olives from an overhanging vine and fed me. I consumed them pit and all. There Endology was born, a final leap of human consciousness into the Noosphere. The first to take that step would find an undiscovered country, and an empty land above all others. An endless plateau. Where he alone would rule. His mind dominate the minds of all others. And he would shut the doorway forever behind himself and take his seat on the throne. But first all must be laid low. All must be reduced.

For those who don;t know me, I have a certain fascination with surrealism. Not that I am good at it. The idea I have been going with is that H. Robert created a backup file of his secret plan to use Che's berets to control the minds of the masses. Of course, H. Robert is also being reincarnated in Peevee at the same time. The idea is that the two H. Roberts will inevitably battle it out for supremacy.

However, the fundamental idea of the Church of Endology (study of the end I suppose but really just a kind of mix of Endogenous and Scientology) is that it seeks to reduce people down to the level of objects. H. Robert's vision is one in which, by virtue of having been the first to enter the noosphere and finding it devoid of God, he can set himself up as God on the empty throne and live eternally - married to the divine feminine.

A lot could be developed from this truly satanic vision, but it is perhaps a little too creepy to pursue.

End game

We are 3/4 of the way through 1 year with SOV2. Poor Fr. Tim has had a wild ride this year, which has seen alien abductions, various takeovers of the parish, a forced imprisonment in Venezuela, various riots in the parking lots, the many adventures of Che, the cannibalistic demise of H. Robert Williams, the arrival of the Gorebertines, a debate with Christopher Hitchens, the government investigation of a potential terrorist staff member, and of course, the slow takeover by OCP.

I am fairly well convinced that SOV2 should only have a 1 year life. You can already see interest and enthusiasm waning. If you can stick it out for four more months, let's try to bring SOV2 to a natural conclusion just after Easter. Start thinking of ways that SOV2 could be eradicated. Anything from a climactic battle between Scientologists, Rationalists, and VOTF fanatics, to the destructive resonance set up by Todd Turk's rebel liturgical dance team.

Following are some unresolved plot threads:

Fr. Juno
Fr. Kurt Cane & the Brothers of Love
Peevee Rajendajendan (he's still at SOV2)
Dr. Al-Fakkir
Palestinian occupation of the parking lot
Illegal immigrant occupation of the front lawn
Plarvik's campaign to be Bishop
The relationship with SSLI
OCP
Todd Turk
Che's marriage
Keith's ongoing weight and drug problems
Clyde Hummin's affair with Mizz Argot
Maryann McGronk's desire to be ordained
Deacon Bernadette Rose Carnahan's desire to be ordained
The Gorebertine's radical environmentalism

I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting.

What's going on with I.R.???!!!

Would someone (not a stalker) please tell me what is going on with I.R.?